The Scorched Mirth Policy

This would be funnier if it weren’t so disturbing.

My wife made an apple crisp in the toaster oven.  This is not a cheap, $29 model; we have a high-end, convection oven model, and we use it for small meals nearly every day.  In fact the only thing it doesn’t do well is toast; it takes too long.

Anyway, she and my son enjoyed a warm apple crisp.  Two hours later, she thought she smelled something burning.  She thought maybe her sense of smell was off because she’s recovering from the flu.  She went to the kitchen and thought why’s it so hot in here?

She checked all the appliances: oven, coffee maker, dishwasher, toaster oven, microwave, all turned off.  She played a worrisome game of “getting colder/getting warmer” and discovered that even though the toaster oven was off (it has a digital display) it had been heating continuously for two hours and had actually started to melt the countertop. She unplugged it, got my industrial-strength grilling gloves, and threw it into a snow bank.

I’m grateful a) to have an intact house, and b) that it didn’t happen to me, Mr. Short-Term-Memory-Deficit.  I could imagine a conversation with the fire department.

Did you turn off the oven after heating up your corn dogs, Mr. Taylor?

Yes.  I think so.  Maybe.  I have no idea.

Did you insert a fork into the heating element or perhaps inadvertently pour a pitcher of water into the oven while you were thinking about the latest episode of FRINGE?

That’s certainly in the realm of possibility.

the gaping maw of the burns!

the gaping maw of the toaster…it burns! (Photo credit: massdistraction)

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